Friday, August 19, 2011

Chapter 1 -- Fear

~The Demolished Village~

Silence and darkness... The children could hear only the chirping of the crickets. There was not even a leaf rustled. They could feel the cold finger of fear gliding down their fragile spines. The children huddled together, not because of the cold, damp virgin forest but their overwhelming fear......


They hold tightly together, afraid that they might accidentally fall down deep from the steep cliff. The children laid their backs on a moss-covered rock and sat down carefully.


"Nothing's gonna happen, Cairo..." whispered the boy.


The girl nestled more closely beside her brother. She was trembling... Her brother felt for her sister's hand in the dark, held it up and pressed hard on his lips.



"Trust me, I'm here..." whispered the boy again



The boy felt for his sister’s hand again, the tension had ebb away, the trembling had stopped. When a girl was only 10 , a big brother of 14 could be wonderfully comforting.

“Brother Lancet, I’m hungry…” mumbled Cairo.

Lancet looked at his sister and sighed, he search for his pockets but found nothing. He thought hardly for a while and pulled his sister’s up.


“Follow me, we’ll find something.”
“Really?” Cairo looked at her brother with hopeful eyes.

It was a brother’s duty to take care his own younger sister. He gazed back towards the thick smoke which torched up to the sky. He decided to go back to their demolished village to search for food. Lancet took Cairo’s hand and started to walk carefully back to the cliff’s surface and ran back to the village.

The nauseating stench of blood, rotting corpes and burning houses stung the children's noses. Lancet dared not bring his sister into the village because he knew that the scene of the village would not be pretty. They hid behind the thick bushes in the outskirts of the village. Before Lancet started his search for food, he carried his sister on his back and climbed up a tree. He reach the second highest branch which was the strongest and carefully seated Cairo on the branch.

"Wait here and don't come down until I'm back." ordered Lancet sternly.

Lancet took out his little dagger made from rough marble and ran straight into the destroyed village. He ransacked every house which was not burnt out completely by the merciless fire that was set by the horde of bandits, who raided the village a day ago. He found a loaf of bread which had its edges burnt.

( I need more food!)



Finally, he reached the last house. He dared not to step into it. He shut his eyes tightly and pushed the cracked door open. Lancet was afraid of looking at his parents....... both dead. A man and a woman laid on the floor. One was stabbed to death and the other had her throat cut. Their face are twisted black ; their eyes are widely opened, staring up towards the ceiling.

7 comments:

  1. I want to read love story, can? XD

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  2. meow...dun like this larr...I dun really know how to write love story~ support support a bit mah...Gimme some constructive criticism...

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  3. I also want to read some love stories..maybe you can add one or two additional characters to be the love interests for the brother and the sister..haha

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  4. RAWR!!Rachel you arr...love is developed through time...cannot suddenly jump into conclusions arr!!

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  5. hey it look much better :D
    and nice music here, yeah make it short but many part ^^[i cant read some english word so bad LOL]
    google transfer some shit for me T_T

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  6. Thank you solarcrab~! ^v^ I will gambatte geh! yes, Google translate does translate some shit to us sometimes~ haha~ you can try a dictionary~!

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  7. "Wait here and down come down until I'm back." ordered Lancet sternly.

    should be

    "Wait here and dun come down until I'm back." ordered Lancet sternly.

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Hi everyone out there ! Be sure to leave a comment after you read my story! I will really appreciate those who can give me some good suggestions to improve my written language!